Prose: Passing into the Abyss {testing excerpts}

So I’m thinking of writing a book based upon the concept of death and the mysteries and experiences that surround it. Using the foundation of my philosophical writings I am trying to depict the journey of a man who passes over. Here’s what I have so far: (criticisms, advice and comments would be much appreciated)…

A Short Story

I dream of the box inside the darkness again: A tantalising darkness, an unknown sensation surrounds a minuscule hand crafted wooden box containing such a vast amount. When opened it seems to consume you, to burden you to a complacent subdued level. If you were to look inside it you would view what would seem…