Death Of A Paradigm

Ego Death: the concept of losing the identification with individual awareness and becoming timeless,eternal and existent in the form of collective consciousness.

Within my short-lived experience of this form I became aware of how much our ego embeds itself so deep within us, in attempt to burrow into our very essence; creating trap doors and false exits within our own thought processes. The obstacle we all have to face if we wish to touch a a lighter state is that of the ego and how it is bolted very firmly into our physical bodies. It seems now that as our society becomes more competitive the ego becomes a fashionable accessory which provides us with a false feeling of power over another. We parade around with this disingenuous armour of ego-confidence which  voices in our head complimentary praise for our actions; thus whatever path we take in life we receive a reassuring warmth that we are doing right. We become trapped in the illusion that whoever has the biggest ego has the most power, and whoever has the most power in life is ‘winning’. This societal trick convinces us that life is a race, a competition, and that to succeed we must be as separate as we possibly can otherwise we can not achieve.

Thus when I was exposed to a unexpected loss of identification with worldly awareness, my conscious outlook became that of fear; the ego protecting itself from slipping away.  Locked in a momentary awareness, my vision kept zooming in and out of what I can only describe as the optical image of existence. As I zoomed in the previous frame became a distant memory which faded into nothingness, so much so that I could no longer recall it. Sounds which occurred in these snapshots of life echoed three fold until the slide was changed and a new projection appeared before my eyes. All the while my ego played it’s part in inducing fear, convincing me I was dying and in immediate danger, therefore within each of these moments of terrified awareness I became sure I had to fight to my life. Mustering up all the psychological strength I could I fought to join each moment into a slide show, a montage of happenings; to prove to myself I existed.

However, the real event was my essence using these moments as a cathartic release for past instances which my ego held onto which induced the paranoid outlook which had plagued me for over a year. Notwithstanding this the ego created more fear during the catharsis and convinced me of my ‘impending doom’, therefore anchoring itself to me as vital for my survival. What became apparent to me was I was in an infinite ebbing and flowing cycle, one of which I had been in for 12 months; my ego would convince me of danger and a problem and present itself as the solution and the protector, embedding itself deeper and deeper within the layers of my psyche.

This epiphany redirected my entire focus on life, it visually displayed to me how to live within the moment and opened my eyes to how the egos need for survival comes before any psychological stability of its hosted essence.

Living your life feeding your ego will ultimately result in  you losing the true being you are to physical enslavement. I’m still in the process of ‘un-anchoring’ mine and discovering all the trap doors it has created within the layers of my mind. It is clear that when I have completely freed myself from from the vibratory patterns of the ego, I will be free from the fear that has been holding me back.

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5 thoughts on “Death Of A Paradigm

  1. “It is clear that when I have completely freed myself from from the vibratory patterns of the ego, I will be free from the fear that has been holding me back.”

    Look,

    You might just know this already, I just remind you.

    You can never be free from fear some time in the “future”,
    as future is the very projection of fear. Yes, Time us fear.

    There is not other step than this very step. One breath at a time.
    Everything unfolds easily once you dare rest in this Truth.

    These are Joseph Campbell´s words:

    Eternity isn´t some “later time”.
    Eternity isn´t a “long time”.
    Eternity has nothing to do with time.
    Eternity is that dimension of Here and Now which thinking and time cuts out.
    If you don´t get it here, you won´t get it anywhere.

    • Thank you again julien for your words of wisdom. What I was trying to portray here was a trouble with a psychological problem that when I looked deeper I could visualize the issue. I was not talking in past or future but underpinning the work I am doing within my core to release the demons that have been plaguing me. Thank you though for showing me that living in the future is the soul cause of fear and fear is living in the future. I understand now that is I am fully, positively engrossed within the moment I am in – the only moment that exists – then I am free. 🙂

  2. The battle is it would appear in some ways never ending. It is one I wrestle with each day and almost with each thought. At times it is not only ego or perceived ego for me it is the understanding of my being judgmental or as my first grade teacher would say prejudice… I told her I was the least prejudice person alive and she asked me if I liked Brussels sprouts… I did yet the point was made, if I dis like something I have judged it. Making me prejudice…. These instilled thoughts I try to unlearn and learn to like or better yet love what I have not liked. I am perhaps out of line yet I do wish you the best of luck on your journey… 🙂

    • Thank you again for the comment and sharing your own struggle that you undertake. As long as we are striving to be the best possible human being we can be then we are fulfilling the greatest happiness within life. Your drive to become completely free of any dislikes is astounding and I hope that you can one day complete this journey and become truly free! 🙂 namaste.

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