For a while I have been living my life trapped under the illusion that I must follow a predetermined path; set out for me by society. Yet, what I never quite grasped was that life is more than this. That I could live exactly as I wished if i just opened my eyes a little to rigidness that we all conform to.
It seems to me that from birth we are trained to think in a money-centric fashion, that our whole existence relies upon us making money just to spend it again. We go to Primary school and are taught core skills for learning, socialized to the norms of society and then sent to secondary school. Secondary school is pivotal point in your life as from Years 7 to 11 you make the most progress in an aim of finding yourself. However this is where you become segregated into classes dependent on your Primary schools evaluation of your intellect. This is flawed as it encourages intellectual elitism, discourages those in the lower tiers from aspiring to be anything more and creates social disconnection as the students in each tier mostly stick with each other. When you get to Year 11 the new educational law has raised the compulsory learning age to 18; forcing those who didn’t enjoy schooling to endure two more years of being told to work harder, that they are receiving low grades and that their attendance is unacceptable.
Through six form, if that is your chosen path of the compulsory two years, you’re indoctrinated into the idea that university is the only path if you want to recognized as normal in society. You are told to write your personal statement and apply to the university; there is no real mention of other paths you can take, just the one which leads to debt, anxiety and alcoholism.
Of course at the time with all the hype of university being where you make your friends for life, where you grow into your own person, where you gain true independence, you sign up with happiness and excitement. Nevertheless I already had my friends for life, I grew more as a person in the months I struggled to go to university then I did learning skills which will never truly aid me in life, and true independence doesn’t come from debt, rigid learning with no creative thought and social pressures, it comes from freeing your soul and understanding who you truly are.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve been lost in a battle within for years; trying to conform but never truly believing it was all for me. It’s taken some pretty big events in my life to wake up and realise what I want is to be myself not societies image of what a person my age should be like, and now I have the task of finding out who I was supposed to be.